If you are an expectant mother, a new mom, or are ever going to buy a piece of baby clothing for another human being during this lifetime, then lend me your ear.
Gain a few seconds of sanity in your mommy day, and choose a little tiny invention that revolutionized the world, or at least my life. “Come on, you can do it. Zip zip.” (What Tom Hanks’ movie is that from?)
I have been dressing babies 7 years straight, and have found it to be quite a chore at times (hence the fact that at least one of our kids ends up running around half naked during the day). Back when we only had 1 child, the dressing issue was not a show stopper by any means. I mean, I did find it hard to get myself dressed, let alone my teeth brushed, AND get this other helpless being outfitted and out the door in any sort of record of time. But as more and more kids started showing up on the scene, it forced me to get more organized (and less vain!), and learn ways to use our time wiser. Even things that helped to shave off 10 extra seconds was a success, since 10 seconds longer a kid has to wait might as well be 10 hours sometimes.
Tip#1, and the ONLY tip stated here for that matter: Zippers Preferred!
Does it really matter, you might think? What about the cozy fabric, the cool designs, the color? All. not. important. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to dress my child in a burlap sac. Wait, that actually might be a really good idea. How easy would that be to get on and off?! Genius. Now, if you have never dressed a baby or toddler, then you are just going to have to take my word for this. Here is a typical night for me:I am jarred awake for the third time in the night and proceed toward the crying baby’s crib, accidently slaming my shoulder against the wall since I’m walking like a zombie by that point. I pick her up only to feel a completely drenched outfit. I let out a huge sigh which is heard by absolutely no one. Well, I guess my baby hears it between crying. I disrobe her, take off the dirty diaper, wipe her clean, put on the new diaper and then comes the new sleeper outfit that I need to put back on her. Oh, and did I mention this is all taking place in the dark? Time is of the essence here, am I right? The whole time I’m thinking, “I would love to get back to sleep!” So let’s pause here. There are two sleepers to pick from: a sleeper with snaps going all the way up the body or one with a long zipper. Which do you think I choose?
Hands down, it’s the zip-up over a “get the heck on, you stupid thing” snap-up. One fluid motion up and down and that is IT, my friend. “Not snap, fumble, reposition, snap, dodge baby’s kick, snap, unsnap because you snapped the wrong one, snap, fumble, snap, snap, snap. And finish with a deep breath (or an under your breath swear word). Do you know how many times I have said, “Gosh, I really wish my toddler’s outfit had more snaps on it for me to close while she wriggles around, arches her back, and bicycle kicks the air”? That’s right, never.
Before having kids, I would have scoffed at such juvenile antics: swearing at snapping up a piece of baby clothing? Preposterous. I would never. It’s amazing how all the little “I would never” statements I made before becoming a mom have come back around to greet me with a nice smirk. Never say never. I remember saying when I was first pregnant that I would never own a minivan either (there’s that vain thing again). I’m pretty sure that illicited a good belly laugh from God. “Oh, if you only knew that you would one day be rolling in a 12 passenger van, let alone a minivan!” Obviously I was thinking too small.
Back to the subject at hand though. The zipper factor goes for coats, shirts, sweaters, you name it.
Don’t get me wrong, the clothing items with buttons or snaps are very cute, stylish, etc., and I’d be lying if I said that I don’t own clothing with a snap on it. But make no mistake, the zipper has made my life a WHOLE LOT easier, and will make yours too!
It needs to go on baby shower invitations, don’t you think? “Zippers preferred!”